Criticism vs Praise: Understanding Emotional Intelligence

Explore the dynamics of criticism and praise. Discover how emotional intelligence plays a crucial role in balancing feedback and self-worth, helping you find your own light amidst the chaos.

12/27/20243 min read

Greetings everyone! Today, I want to share the fine line between criticism and praise and what I feel while walking on this line. Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my article. I am so glad you exist!

Yesterday, my start-up was praised a little, buried a little. What was the right thing and which was I doing? Was I on the right track or was I dragging too much…

I don’t know, they can’t know… So, what do we know? I prefer to focus on the feelings of the moments we experience. How do you feel at that moment, while you are performing that activity or that job? Is it make you feel complete or incomplete? That is the whole story. I feel complete. Every moment I live, strive and am in the arena, I feel on the path to completion.

I have endless respect for everyone who is an entrepreneur. Because for me, they mean individuals who get up every day and work to solve a problem. But how right is it to criticize without any praise? I have a rule. I praise at least twice and then criticize once if I have a really logical idea that will benefit the other person.

Why is it easier for people to criticize and harder to praise? Why can't they thank them for their efforts? Because people focus on the criticism they receive from their surroundings and then they focus only on criticizing themselves and others. It's like the "Shouting Circle", in other words, your manager yells at you, you yell at your team, your team goes home and yells at their spouse and child and so on...

Yesterday, at the event I attended, I had the chance to meet a few entrepreneurs and listen to a few speeches. First of all, I don't understand why you feel the need to say that you are shining when you are a shining star? If a star is shining, I see it and appreciate it. Most of the time, if it is not shining, I appreciate it because no matter what the effort is, it should be appreciated first. But people are so used to putting themselves forward, let others put you forward, let others praise you. Tell your work and keep quiet. Let's see what you hear next. Some will criticize, some will praise...

So why do people focus so much on criticism?

In my consulting career, I have worked with many people who criticized and even complained about me and others without thanking first. None of these works lasted long. Because a person who does not see and like the effort today will remain the same tomorrow. I try to influence these people, but I have limits. Because you can praise and congratulate those people in their professional lives, but if they are used to constant criticism from their families or friends when they go home, they will continue to hear criticize when they come to work. In fact, their problems are with themselves, they are used to living their lives like this and they have had to keep their relatives who constantly criticize without praising them in their lives without changing, and this has turned them into critics. In other words, if someone is only criticizing, I think they are definitely only criticized.

Let's go back to yesterday, I was lucky, I accepted all the criticisms with a smile and fun. Because before attending this event, I had delivered a pre-order to a customer and they really loved our products. In addition, before the project was even completed, they mentioned my start-up to about five companies as reference and gave them my contact information. How lucky I am, I was praised five times and criticized five times. It did not come from the same people, but I found a balance.

No matter what we do in life, if we accept to be in the arena, that is, if we are not sitting in the audience seat, those who are on the stage in their own arena and those who are in the audience seat will speak. Some are positive, some are negative… Not worrying about these and learning from all of them should be the top priority. The entrepreneurship ecosystem in Turkey is both full of opportunities and there are many obstacles. We have entrepreneurship and ambition in our seeds. But I am very sorry that there is no room for this in the universe. Every star and every planet in the sky has its own shine. So are people, we all have room to shine. I wish us all a journey where our shine will speak…