Listening

Experiencing a similar story to one I came across in Jeffrey Gitomer's e-book titled Listening inspired me to write this article. In sales, listening to our customers is just as important as explaining our product well. In this article, I will share some techniques for listening well and showing that you are listening.

Let's start with Jeffrey Gitomer's story...

On an Alaska Airlines flight, the pilot makes an unusual, humorous introduction to his announcement. He begins with humorous phrases such as, “If you're not going to San Francisco, now is a great time to get off,” and even introduces his cabin crew with jokes. The passengers start laughing, then begin to listen attentively.

The lesson the author draws is this:

When people laugh, they start listening. Humor grabs attention, lowers defenses, and ensures the message sticks. That's why, whether it's an airplane announcement or a sales pitch, it's not just what you say that matters, but how you say it. Laughter → Listening. When this chain is established, communication becomes truly effective.

Pilot announcements are generally boring and make passengers feel like they have to listen. This is because the pilot may be making an announcement about turbulence or any other important situation. Why are these announcements always boring? Can they be made fun or something that really makes the listener feel good? Yes, they can.

On my flight to Switzerland, the pilot made an announcement an hour before landing. This announcement was just to say that everything was going smoothly, and at the end of the announcement he said: “Especially those sitting by the window and in the seats next to it can enjoy the magnificent Alps view.” At that moment, as I watched the magnificence of the Alps, I looked around, remembering Jeffrey Gitomer's story. All the passengers had started smiling as they looked out the window.

This pilot had made people feel good and had motivated them. It was certain that all passengers would listen intently to what the pilot had to say after that sentence. His announcement was over, and he had nothing else to say. But I am sure that if he had added, “For all passengers who want to enjoy this experience with a glass of wine, our wines are 20% off!” the airline would have made extra money on that flight.

I can almost hear you saying, “It sounds simple when you tell it, but it's not that easy to put into practice.” In my opinion, it's easy when you really put your heart into it. In my previous articles, I've mentioned several times that we need to be professional friends to our customers. Being a professional friend means being the person who has the expertise about the product your customer needs, and that person is a friend; not a boring salesperson.

Why are these sales meetings always boring? These sales meetings are boring because there is always someone in front of you trying to sell you something. It is important to empathize with our customers. Let's imagine we are a customer. There is someone in front of you who you know is a salesperson. They tell you about their product, praise their company, praise themselves, and ultimately try to get your money. These meetings end positively if the customer really needs this product and knew they needed it before this meeting. Other than that, there is no chance of a positive outcome.

How does this chance arise? Can our customers really enjoy listening to what we have to say?

As Jeffrey Gitomer mentions in his book, the more you listen, the more you are listened to. Small talk is very important. It is even more important that they must not be unnatural. Let me tell you a story. I recently met with a client, and during our conversation, he told me about a bad experience he had with a sales representative. While walking around the booths at a conference they attended, a sales representative saw my client's tattoo and said, “Is that someone's heartbeat?” (My client's tattoo is actually a special design made up of the sound waves of his mother saying his name). “When you have such a special tattoo, the person who saw it and immediately assumed they were complimenting me by saying that lost me right then and there.” he said. He also added, “We know that sales conversations usually start with complimenting the customer, but this person lost the game from the start.”

This comment makes it very clear: You shouldn't compliment your customer before you know them. This is a scary thing to do. You need to get to know them first. To get to know them, you need to listen. To listen, you need to ask questions. Consider ChatGPT and similar AI products, for example. In their communication with you, they always end their sentences with a question and try to convince you to stay in the conversation. You should end your sentences with questions, and these questions should prepare you for the journey where you will talk about your product, yourself, and your company. The most important factor in staying on this journey is keeping the conversation going. For your conversation to continue, the other party must enjoy it. They should not listen to you with the thought, “I wish this conversation would end soon.” running through their mind.

Small talk can be about many topics, and it can also be about something like a tattoo related to our customer's appearance, as in the example I mentioned. However, it should not be about expressing an opinion. For example, my client's story could have started like this and ended more successfully. The sales representative at the booth could say, “Oh, your tattoo looks very interesting; what does it mean?” After my client explained its meaning, the person could have said, "I have many friends who got tattoos related to their family, but I've never seen an example like this. That's a really creative idea. By the way, since we're here today, I'd like to tell you a little bit about our company, our product, and myself. Do you have a moment?" If the conversation had started like this, I'm sure my client's approach would have been completely different.

We can summarize what Jeffrey Gitomer mentions in his e-book as follows:

• Shut up and listen; don't interrupt, let the sentences finish.

• Listen first to understand, then to respond.

• Don't interrupt; the person who interrupts isn't listening.

• Ask questions and then be quiet; listen for the answer, not your own thoughts.

• Make eye contact and give listening signals.

• Eliminate distractions (phone, other tasks, mental preoccupations).

• Take notes; it shows respect, reduces mistakes, and ensures listening.

• Listen to what is not said; intonation, emphasis, and implied messages.

To update these points, I can add the following: In today's digital world, our sales meetings can now take place over the phone or via video calls. It's not easy to show the other party that we are listening to them, especially during phone calls, but there is a clear tactic here. If you are someone who sells over the phone and wants to improve your listening skills, what you need to do is stand in front of a mirror and talk to yourself as if your customer were in front of you. You can do this without standing in front of a mirror. What I do is stand up, use gestures and facial expressions as if someone were in front of me, say things like “I understand” or “I've taken note” to show I'm listening, and use short sentences that repeat what my customer has said. These are techniques for showing you're listening during phone sales, and they've really been proven to work.

For our video calls, artificial intelligence now takes meeting notes for us, so we don't need to take notes ourselves. However, what I do is continue to take short notes on things I need to remember. Because if your video is on, the other party notices that you are taking notes and feels that what they are saying is being recognized as important. If you look at a different tab, your customer will realize from the light on your screen that you are looking at a different tab. What we really need to do is eliminate distractions, close tabs, and focus solely on our customer, listening to what they are saying.

Actually, the rules are quite clear. We listen to our friends because we care about them. We listen to our customers because we value our business. If we value our business, then being a professional friend is an easy and proven tactic. If you don't value your work, you should change it. Because successful salespeople should be genuinely eager to advance their product, their position, and their company by making more sales every day.